VICTORIA

To whom it may concern (which is you, obviously), I am sitting on my bed listening to Moving, Shaking by Great Laker Swimmers. As my mind indulges in this passive sound, it begins to wander off into this different realm. Yet, this realm is much like the world I am living in, but I am not living in this realm. It is just there. An open realm in my mind. It reminds me of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Seeing everything, from the past, and not being able to do anything about it, but still trying. I want what I had 8 months ago. I want to feel what I felt 8 months ago. Yet, I can’t. It saddens me because I can’t. I can move on, of course. But, we always can move on. We move on every second of our lives. So, why do we always make a big deal of pitching in our 2 cents of advice, “You just have to move on.” Living another second provides us for moving on. Moving on doesn’t mean you forget the person, the feelings, and the pain. Moving on just entails living longer. All of that rambling leads to the question: Do you believe moving on is as useful as people have convinced each other it to being? Also, who are we to decide we should move on from something or someone? Are we that selfish that we will prevent anything from happening (in a negative way) for our own sake? What if what makes us happy is what makes us miserable? What is happiness? What is miserableness? Is what we feel actually real or are they just words we were learned as children? Sorry for the novel. I love you, though. Your adopted daughter, Krista by transatlantique

i see it as less of a “moving on” and more as numbing the past and cover up what you felt/feel. it’s like white-out. you happen to write something in ink, but it doesn’t come out the way you’d like it to. you cover it with white-out. which stinks, literally. you can see the white-out and feel the white-out. the paper will never be the same because you know the white-out is there, covering something up. then you write over it with a fresh sentence, but soon, you will realize the sentence doesn’t quite fit. repeat process until the bottle is empty. you can only go through so many bottles. 

happiness and miserableness seem to go hand in hand. that someone that makes you feel your best, can also make you feel your worst. they are your greatest hello and your hardest goodbye. the hard thing is there seem to be just as many hellos in our world as goodbyes. the even harder thing is finding your final hello. sometimes you might think you have found it, but in a flash, adios. better luck next time. what make you happy does make you miserable. 

i think what we feel is real. the ocean of tears i have cried couldn’t have been over fake feelings. possibly the extent of these feelings aren’t real, but they have the capability to be. someone might think that they are in love and say i love you. but down the road, the might realize, “hey, i didn’t really love you the first time i told you, but now i do.” i don’t think these feelings have reached their potential until you can feel it, and i mean really feeeel it. but who knows, i’be never “felt it.” but i hopes it’s something marvelous like that.

i hope this made some sense. i love you and i mean it. who needs boys? <3

Ask me anything you’d like.

list some random things about you. you seem interesting.

Spanish was my first language.
I’m scared to look in the mirror when it’s dark.
I don’t like watermelon.
Girls are hard for me to trust.
I still count with my fingers, even if it’s simple math.
I wear a watch around my wrist and a ribbon in my hair everyday.

I think that’s some. (:

Ask me anything you’d like.

You’re pretty awesome and quite cute. Keep it up!

oh how nice! that was a pleasant first comment. 
thank you, and i’ll try. (:

ask me anything you’d like.

Be gentle (:

http://www.formspring.me/missvictoria